Friday, September 2, 2011

Tears of joy, and tears of pain

Today is my hubby's pack-out day...they have come to box up his stuff and ship it off to his destination. His time left with us is extremely extremely short. No spouse should ever have to watch their significant other's stuff get packed. It is say the least. Watching strangers pack everything you and your husband share into boxes headed to another country. I may be weak, but I just couldn't watch. I took myself upstairs to the bedroom to silently break down. I try not to cry in front of him, I don't want him to feel bad about having to leave. It's hard enough for him to leave us for a year, without me making him feel worse. I just didn't know how hard it was going to be to watch them pack up his life! Watching them pack made it all the more real. I know plenty of people go through this and its just as hard. I wish that our men and women in the Armed Forces didn't have to leave for such long lengths of time. It makes me want to be totally selfish and scream "Why do these other countries need us? Let our men and women stay home and take care of their own country!" I am tired of saying goodbye to the man I love. I am tired of being without my best friend. I am tired of my children learning first hand what loss means, as they have to wipe away their tears and say goodbye to Daddy yet again. It just isn't right! Dads are so important! My youngest starts kindergarten this year, and her Dad won't be here for Dad Patrol or the Daddy Daughter Dance. Our oldest graduates high school. Her Dad won't be here for her last Homecoming, Prom, Spring Musical, college acceptance letters, or graduation! I know he has to go and I know I have to deal with it, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I have to like it!


Pinky said...

My hear aches for you and your family. I really hope that your family and friends there support you through this next year. Hopefully it'll go by fast, and your hubby will be home before you know it!

Pinky said...

hehe...I meant *heart