Friday, June 18, 2010

On a Journey with God....

So since my hubby is gone, and I have lots of time to fill, I have decided to begin exploring my relationship with God. I have never been a committed church-goer, bible reader or prayer person. I do believe in God, and I believe Jesus died for our sins; however, I have never felt that connected to God at all. My friend, T.D. says, I just haven't had my God "a-ha!" moment yet. I think she may be right. I have always been a little envious of those who have a strong faith and just trust God some completely. They seem so much more at peace with decisions, crises, and things. I want that! So I have been attending a bible study with a couple of my military spouse friends, and I am learning... little by little, but still learning. We are currently studying the ten commandments, and I admit, there is still some skepticism in my heart. I agree that the ten commandments should be followed, but I also believe there is room for interpretation in each and every life. I have been through a lot in my life, and I am not one to forgive easily. Small things yes, but the big things, no! I don't find it necessary to go to church, but I am starting to realize that it is true that when people are gathered in God's name, there is a different feeling. My problem with church is not God, but people. Everytime I think I have found a good church, some human goes and does something that turns me off the whole thing! Is this God's fault? NO,not at all, but it does keep me from attending church. Somehow, I don't think that churches today were what Jesus intended back in the day!
Any how, let me get to the point. The past few days have been a financial nightmare. Several things have come up that needed to be paid for, and if there is anything that I stress over majorly, it is MONEY! Especially when the hubs is away, because we really can't sit down and discuss a solution. So I have had all these things come up, and I have worried myself sick about them. There never seems to be enough to go around. So after bible study, I discussed it a little with my hubs and then decided to offer up a little prayer. Unusual for me, because I don't feel like I should be asking God for money! But I just asked that He help me figure out this whole financial snafoo. This morning, I woke up and it was all figured out in my head! I felt more calm about it, and I figured out a way to work it all out and get it all paid! Amazing! Then in answer to prayer (as if figuring it all out wasn't enough of an anwser) I go check the mail, and there is a check for me in there, that I totally was not expecting! It wasn't a massive amount, but enough to give me some perspective. So maybe prayers can be answered after all, if you offer them up for the right reasons. I feel at peace now with the finances, and it feels good! So thanks to T.D. for helping me start this journey and Thanks be to God for showing me that with Him all things really ARE possible!

1 comment:

L.C. said...

I am so happy/excited for you! and yes, God does give us little signs we just have to look for it!