Monday, May 31, 2010

Deployments suck!

In a few days, I have to, once again, say goodbye to my soul mate, my best friend, my husband. Whoever said that each time it gets easier, was LYING!!! It gets harder every time. Everytime I want to beg him to stay, get out of the military and just stay home with us. He heads off to another country, that I will never see, and I get to stay here and try to hold life together without him. I get to go to bed alone every night, with no one to talk through my day with. No matter how many people I surround myself with, no matter how many activites I schedule, at the end of the day, I still have to return to this house, that is not a home without my husband. Don't get me wrong, I am IMMENSENSELY PROUD of my husband and his continued sacrifice for his country. I am proud of the job he does every day, and I am proud of the person he is. All these things, however, do not make it any easier to kiss him goodbye, watch him board a plane, and KNOW that it will be months before I see him again. Months before he kisses or hugs me again. Months before I can sit next to him and just share my day with him. I try to be brave and not cry, but it is futile. As the day draws neared, the tears come unbidden. I cannot stop them. For you see, a part of my heart leaves with him everytime. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye, see you later, or ciao for now. But I will do it... for I am a military spouse and it is my job and honor to do what I have to do, so that my military member can do his job.

1 comment:

Meg said...

Sometimes we have to go through loss and pain to truly understand the importance of what we have. I know as military wives we experience loss time and time again, sometimes it is hard and trying. However, I know that if we can make it through this and maintain a marraige, our relationships are stronger everytime they come back and they still love us and we still love them.