MilitarySpouseBlogs

Friday, October 29, 2010

Homecoming and Heartache


My hubby is home! You don't know how happy this makes me! When he is gone, I feel like a significant part of me is missing. I am not a whole without him. His homecoming was wonderful. I was able to keep it a secret from our girls, and surprise them both at school. It was priceless. The looks on their faces when Daddy popped out from behind the door was amazing! It was quite possibly the best homecoming ever!
On to the heartache part.... while I am super duper happy that my husband is home, I have found out something that just broke my heart. What I thought was a close friend, recently told me that she cannot feel sorry for me or understand my struggles when my husband is gone because he is not usually gone as long as her husband. She feels that she would be able to handle my deployment length easily and therefore I have no right to complain or to ask for help. This really upset me! I was not aware that getting support from friends and fellow military spouses was based on the length of the deployment. I think that all deployments and TDYs are stressful regardless of their length. Things go wrong, you are on your own, and without your partner; no matter how many days, months, etc. I was really surprised to hear that she felt this way. I always considered her a really close friend until now. To basically say that what goes on in my life is unimportant because my husband is only gone X months versus your husband being gone XX months, is just ridiculous to me. I think if we are going to support one another, it should be across the board, not based on deployment length or destination. We are all in the same boat, ship, plane, humvee etc regardless of where our spouses go and for how long. We should all be able to depend on each other no matter what. There should be no conditions, or stipulations for that support!
Just had to get that out there. The hubby is home, and I am blissful in his presence. I am going to enjoy my time with him and our family, because before you know it, another deployment will be looming on the horizon!

2 comments:

LC said...

This makes me REALLY sad to hear this :(

Rhe Christine said...

Holy heck?! Why do military s/o's insist upon causing derision amongst our ranks with comments like this? This is not a competition. There is no reason to do this and to say it to your face as your hubby is returning home is just horrendous. We are a small group, the silent ranks if you will, we need to stick together! It just makes me sad that someone would say this to you.

On a positive note, I am so happy to have found you on Military Spouse blogging :)