Deployment Blahs....

For some reason, this deployment is affecting me much worse than any of the others. I am old hat at this, I have been through TONS of deployments. I don't know what is wrong. Maybe it is because this is summertime. Maybe its because my hubby and I are closer than ever and it just hurts too much for him to be gone. I just cannot shake the doldrums. Every day is hard. Going to base and seeing men in uniform sucks even more, because it just reminds me of what I am missing. I can't avoid base...there are doctor's appointments and commisary trips. My children are driving me nuts this time around, and I feel bad being short with them. I just feel like I am on the edge all the time. I want to cry, but can't. I want to scream, but that would be inappropriate. It just really sucks. I don't want to unload it all on my hubby, because I know his end isn't much better. I don't want to feel like a burden. Sometimes it is hard to try and appear happy all day long, it feels like such a chore. Keeping myself busy just isn't working as well as it has in the past. I have friends, and I have things to do, but it is not making things better.